My conversion from Roman Catholicism to Christ was not done in an instant, but was the result of a long and painful process that lasted for many years. He started during my college days in Assisi, Italy. One day my teacher was giving a lecture on Pope Honorius I (628-638), one of many popes who, according to the Church, gave wrong teachings. He became involved in the controversy over the monothelite heresy, with which he agreed. This doctrine held that Christ had only one will, His personal will. However, this contradicts the biblical teaching that He has two natures and therefore two wills, the human and the divine.
The Third Council of Constantinople (680-681) condemned those who supported the Monothelite heresy, and therefore Pope Honorius I.
I was deeply shaken by the fact that the Roman Catholic Church itself acknowledged that Pope Honorius I had accepted heretical teaching, while in 1870 the First Vatican Council decided on the dogma of papal infallibility, declaring the pope of Rome absolutely infallible. in his definitions and solemn decrees uttered ex cathedra. I also learned then that the Fathers of the Council of 1870 clearly stated that although dogma had just been formulated, its truth had always existed, thus implying that all popes from Peter to Pius IX, who was still alive at the time, they were all infallible. It was claimed that they were all inspired by God and that their succession was also of divine origin. I felt compelled to ask my teacher how it was possible that Pope Honorius's opinion might be contrary to the official teaching of the Church. He replied that Pope Honorius had indeed given a wrong teaching, but when he did so he did not speak ex cathedra as pope, but as a private theologian.
Rome's lack of security
In the seminary we lived in we did not follow a strict monastic life, although we had to perform certain penances and acts of selflessness, which included fasting and abstinence. We also had to confess, practice meditation, and participate in all religious holidays. We were taught that, in spite of all these things, we could not be sure of our salvation, for one of the dogmas of the Church is that whoever claims to be sure of his salvation is certainly lost.
The castle of doubts
I realized once more that the Church was contradicting itself, but I did not dare to tell this to anyone for a while, and so I struggled alone with my doubts. Then one day, being very upset about this, I felt the need to talk to Father Confessor. His answer was short and harsh: "My boy, these thoughts are only the temptations of the devil."
It was clear to me that he was trying to pervert the truth by saying that the beliefs I believed to be from the Holy Spirit were the work of the devil. To prove to him that my doubts had a solid basis, I quoted John 3:16, but my boldness did nothing but receive a terrible lesson in humility and blind obedience to the Church. As you may have noticed, I was told to have a blind obedience to the Church and not to the Lord Jesus Christ.
The confessional
By then I had stopped going to confession regularly. I had never been happy to confess, and when I did, it was more of an obligation than an inner desire. Sometimes confession seemed like a real burden to me, a kind of torture chamber for my conscience.
I emphasize this because an argument made by Roman Catholics is that the practice of confession gives the penitent a sense of consolation as he unloads his sins on the ear of the priest, whose remission of sins removes the burden of sin and guilt. It is true that in this way a kind of relief can be experienced, but it has no lasting effect and is nothing more than a passing emotion.
I later served five years as a priest in the Roman Catholic Church. This may seem like a short time, but for me it was long enough to learn a lot about confession and confessional, the pew in the church where the confession was done. I have listened to the confessions of many people, some of whom I know personally. Some of them were very sincere and longed for deliverance from any annoying sin or vice, and yet these people, to their great disappointment, had to come week by week to confess the same sins that were often shameful and detestable.
"Why don't I get released?" Was their worried question. My duty as a confessor was to give them peace, but I could never give them convincing assurance, and no one in my position could.
Living Water
I always think of the wonderful event in which Jesus met the woman from Samaria at Jacob's well. There we have the true answer that thirsty souls need. However, people who are deceived by being constantly asked to go to the priest to quench their spiritual thirst never find the true answer. "Jesus answered and said unto him, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again . " The Roman Catholic confessional is just like the water in Jacob's well. It's water that can quench thirst in just a short time. Jesus went on to say, "But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life" (John 4). : 13-14).
We see here that the true source of lasting thirst for thirst is the Lord Jesus Christ, who knows the secret need of every sinner and has water for everyone. Jesus also said, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). This offering comes from the heart of God, but no priest, bishop or pope. from the Roman Catholic Church can never give this peace of heart, a peace that they also lack. People remain thirsty, burdened, and helpless until God Himself quenches their thirst. Then, just as a spring fills a well, so the gift of God blesses after blessing with the promise of eternal life.
Ordained, but puzzled
In my own search, I suddenly encountered a personal problem. It occurred to me to give up the vocation of the priesthood, but I immediately rejected it as a terrible temptation. I was in my final year of theological studies and almost ready to be ordained. I was also thinking about the honor of my family, because in a Roman Catholic country it is considered a great privilege and honor to have a priest in the family. I knew that my parents and friends were all looking forward to seeing me celebrate the liturgy as a priest. I now realize that these thoughts were irrelevant, but since I did not know the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord at the time, I lacked the strength to follow my beliefs.
So I was ordained and became a priest, after which I was sent to a parish as a responsible vicar. I started my work with enthusiasm and even had some success, which dispelled some of my old doubts. In my work in the parish I was in a new atmosphere, in a different environment and I felt that I had a certain freedom that I did not have in my student life. I began to take the liberty of reading the Bible and other books forbidden by the Church. Later, as a parish priest, I discussed religious matters with many people.
My doubts intensify
One day, during a very personal discussion with a Franciscan monk, I had a revelation that shocked me. I found that he was going through the same painful experiences of safety for salvation as I had been through. I began to wonder:
“If the Roman Catholic Church is the true Church of Christ, how is it that one of the best workers, a man with an integrity and disciplined life, does not know whether he is saved or lost and has to endure such profound spiritual insecurity? ?
My own doubts resurfaced, triggering another spiritual crisis, but this time leading to my release. The immediate consequence of this crisis was that the liturgy, obedience to confessions, and other priestly duties became a great burden.
The light of God
Then, for a while, I looked for relief in fun. I noticed that I was beginning to lose my sense of duty, and to my great shame, I came to live up to the standard of living in the world. My real need was not for entertainment, but for purification, not for pleasure, but for spiritual renewal. What I needed was Jesus Christ. Was the Church able to take me to someone to free me from this terrible situation? No, Rome could only apply her canonical punishment, and so I was sent to a monastery for a week. The treatment was not suitable for this disease. I was still fighting a seemingly lost battle on my own.
However, one day a ray of divine light showed me what darkness was really in my heart. What was to be done? I decided to leave my parish and my parents and go to Rome. I had no clear plan in mind and no friends in Rome to ask for help. However, on the first day of my search through Rome, I discovered an Episcopal Methodist church. I was able to get in touch with the priest there, to whom I opened my heart and told him about my desperate situation. However, I soon learned that it was not so easy to leave the Roman Catholic Church.
Rome's curse on converted priests
The Lateran Treaty of 1929 was a major obstacle. Article five, paragraph 2, reads: “Apostate priests or those under the punishment of the Church are not allowed under any circumstances to be appointed teachers or to be allowed to continue such a profession. They are not allowed to be used as officials to stay in direct contact with the public. " This meant that I had to choose between retiring from public life and leaving my country, my parents, everything I loved. The latter was a frightening sacrifice, but I was empowered to do so, and God opened my doors in a remarkable way. The Methodist priest I met introduced me to Professor E. Buonaiuti, a former Catholic priest who, as a result of the Lateran Treaty, he was forced to relinquish his position as a teacher of comparative religions and was himself subject to canonical censorship. This man made contact with Protestant societies in Switzerland, France, and Germany, and tried to find a place for me.
In His light we see the light
Weeks and months passed without anything on the horizon when God brought into play another former priest, M. Casella, who was working in a parish in Northern Ireland. This meeting was indeed something providential. Dr. Casella happened to write to Professor Buonaiuti of Rome about a certain book. In his letter, Dr. Casella mentioned how he had been able to leave the Roman Catholic Church through an evangelical society in Dublin called the Society for the Protection of Priests. In his reply, Prof. Buonaiuti mentioned my case, and through this contact I was able to begin the last stage of my journey.
The Society for the Protection of Priests came to my aid and gave me the opportunity to receive comprehensive instruction in Reformed evangelical doctrine at Trinity College Dublin, funded by the Irish Church Missions. I would also like to express my deep gratitude to the Society for the Protection of Priests for giving me the opportunity to emerge from the darkness of the Roman Catholic Church in the light of the gospel.
Of course, it was extremely difficult for me to leave my parents, friends and everything I loved in Italy, but when I decided to listen to the voice of God instead of the voice of the flesh and the world, all the difficulties -they have turned into something pleasant, especially since I have reached the goal of my spiritual search and I have passed from a sinful life to a personal knowledge of the risen Christ.
I would also like to add a word of thanks to the Irish Church Missions, in whose buildings in Dublin I was taught to read the Word of God and where my eyes were opened to the light of the gospel. The prophet Isaiah spoke of the true right position before God: "Only in the Lord shall it be said of me, I have righteousness and strength" (Isaiah 45:24). The apostle Paul states that God's righteousness is given to the believer by faith: “But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets; namely, the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe: for there is no difference. ”(Romans 3: 21-22). The sinful condition of all men is described in detail by the apostle Paul, as well as the fact that God's grace is given free of charge, without any human merit: "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; through the ransom- Mariano Rughi 46 the purchase that is in Christ Jesus ” (Romans 3: 23-24). By grace, through faith, a transaction was made between God and me. Like the apostle Paul, I can say with confidence:"But I consider all things to be loss for the superiority of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things; righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is by faith in Christ, righteousness which is of God based on faith ” (Philippians 3: 8-9).
Mariano Rughi was born in Italy and, after his conversion, worked in Ireland, England, the United States of America, and at the end of his life in Canada.
(Translator: Olimpiu S. Cosma)
[Source: https://bereanbeacon.org/ro/apa-vie-si-pace-cu-dumnezeu/]
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