Former Catholic Seminarian
INTRODUCTION
The purpose of this testimony is NOT to highlight MY PERSON, nor to criticize a RELIGIOUS SYSTEM but to testify to what Biblical STUDY and MEDITATION is capable of doing in life all those who are exposed to it. That is why I have titled this testimony THE LAMP THAT LIGHTED MY STEPS; and that he definitely STILL does it to date. That is why the biblical verse I want to take as a basis is Psalm 119: 105.
YOUR WORD IS A LAMP TO MY FEET AND A LIGHT TO MY PATH. Psalm 119: 105
I have verified that the Word of God is a SUPERNATURAL LAMP capable of illuminating the human mind, and giving it CONVICTIONS that go beyond all logic. Convictions that IMPROVE us to walk in OBEDIENCE to the will of God even though there are all kinds of oppositions around us or religious structures that have been ingrained. There is no doubt that when we expose ourselves to the content of God's Word through deep study and meditation in a prayerful atmosphere, a gradual transition from darkness to light begins; From blindness to perfect sight Hence, I have classified my life in three stages:
- The stage of BLINDNESS.
- The stage of the SHADOWS.
- The stage of LIGHT.
BLINDNESS STAGE
From a very young age, I was instilled with religious doctrines and practices that were in total opposition to what the Bible taught. Obviously at this time I did not realize that this was the case, due to my total ignorance of the Holy Scriptures. These teachings were instilled in me from three sources: my home, the religious college where I studied and in the parish where I attended. At that time I met people with a very good heart, very generous with the poor, very religious, very well intentioned in their moral and ethical attitudes ... well, good and pious people. So all this and the example of some priests radically devoted to God, led me to enter a seminary. Objective: To be a CATHOLIC PRIEST. I had all the desire to serve God and my neighbor from the most radical lifestyle. And so it was that one day, January 7, 1985, I left my country, El Salvador, for Guatemala to enter the religious congregation in which I would begin my formative process. I was going with an enormous illusion, with firm intentions and to give everything that was on my part to complete my wish, which at the same time were the wishes of my relatives.
The priestly formation process was organized as follows:
- Three years of PHILOSOPHY.
- One year of NOVITIATE.
- Four years of THEOLOGY.
In the three years of PHILOSOPHY , the objective is to know the entire history of Philosophy, from its beginnings to contemporary times, to know the different points of view of philosophers of different tendencies; it was also a time to study the philosophy of science, the philosophy of nature, the social philosophy; also know and discuss about aspects related to CAPITALISM and COMMUNISM; also adding all these questions that humanity asks itself before the enigmas of life and the problems that surround it. In addition, Philosophy, according to them, was the fundamental requirement to understand Theology. However now I understand that to understand theology, it is not necessary to have that accumulation of rational knowledge but rather the presence and action of the Holy Spirit working in the life of the believer.
The year of NOVITIATE. This year I did it in Panama. It is a year of semi-confinement in which we concentrated to meditate more on our priestly vocation. In this period we studied in depth the Constitutions that govern the religious congregation to which he belonged. In addition, the life of the founding father of the congregation, who was a Spanish bishop in the 18th century, is studied in depth. The objective of this knowledge was to constitute us imitators of his work, as well as to teach us how important it was to pray to him to achieve those purposes; It is here also where we were reminded that among our religious practices we had to pray three daily rosaries to the Virgin Mary; also ask for help through prayer to people who had already died and who had been canonized as saints. It is at the end of this year that I made my first religious vows of OBEDIENCE, CHASTITY and POVERTY. The first vote involved blind obedience to the bishop or the Father Superior of the congregation; the second vow was to renounce the marriage; and the third vow was to renounce owning material goods as one's own.
In the four years of THEOLOGY, biblical doctrines are studied with human doctrines that have been developed as the years have passed; human traditions that have nothing to do with what the Bible teaches. In addition, we were emphasized that in the Bible there was not the whole truth, but that the truth was also in THE TRADITIONS; and that the only entity that is authorized to interpret the Bible is what they call the Magisterium of the Church. Basically what is being learned here is a MIX of biblical doctrines with human doctrines.
It was within this period that the second stage began to take place: The stage of shadows.
SHADOW STAGE
In the midst of these studies, an inexplicable hunger for the Bible remained. That all that philosophical and humanistic knowledge was filling my knowledge, but at no time was it nurturing my spirit. It was then that that biblical verse that says:
MAN SHALL NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE, BUT BY EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD. Matthew 4: 4
I remember that during the novitiate year above all, as I had more free time, I would lock myself in my room or go to the chapel to meditate on the Bible. I began not to read it, but to meditate on it. I prayed to the Lord to satisfy that hunger that was in me. I locked myself in for hours to meditate on it, the verses that caught my attention I underlined, and based on them I began to pray. I came to understand what it means to receive Jesus Christ as LORD and SAVIOR of my life. All this produced in me an internal satisfaction that I cannot explain ...
However, although it may seem paradoxical, this biblical meditation produced serious CRISIS in my religious life. I felt that all those fundamentals that had been instilled in me since I was little, were now crumbling. An inner earthquake was occurring in me. At the same time that I was satisfied with the biblical knowledge, I did not want to believe in them, because I felt like a traitor. I felt that I was betraying God, my family, my person, my convictions, my religion. - ".. No, it can't be ..." I said to myself. "There must be some way to RECONCILE these biblical teachings with what I am taught here in seminary ..." But no. Everything was in vain. Each time I was realizing how distant many biblical doctrinal teachings were with the teaching received in this religious system.
All of this led to huge crises. For example, I came to DOUBT all religions, since they all claim to have the TRUTH and all defend them with their arguments and doctrines. However, I was terrified of leaving the religion that came with my birth and educated me with its teachings. A deep fear of condemnation began to invade me. As I progressed in my priestly studies I felt in a valley of SHADOWS, where the truth was mixing with the error, the light with the darkness, a stage in which I still saw everything distorted.
The crisis was increasing every day. I remember waking up with nightmares, screaming. Emotionally I felt a terrible guilt complex and inexplicable emptiness. There was no reason to stay in that place. I was getting sick. All of this made me feel so nervous that I asked to leave the Congregation. I felt like Paul, who was blind when he met the light.
When I returned to my country, I began to enter a state of indifference to the things of God. Even doubting its existence; but just in case, he said, I will continue under the cover of religion. However, the inexplicable hunger that was in me for the Bible, remained latent. I can't explain how, but it was still there. It was thus that for two years I immersed myself in his study and constant meditation.
STAGE OF LIGHT
The shadows gradually faded and gave way to LIGHT. I can tell you that constant meditation on the Bible was a switch that illuminated those gloom. Among the issues that were clarified to me, I can mention some. For example:
Come to the conviction that the intercession of the Virgin Mary or of good people who have died is not necessary. In the Bible, at no time is such practice or teaching found. The only one who possesses the attributes of OMNIPOTENCE, OMNIPRESENCE and OMNISCIENCE is God. No one on this earth, no matter how holy or pious they may have been, can claim divine attributes. I took the task of looking in the Bible, if the apostles in their letters recommended such a practice and I found that it was not. Furthermore, the Lord Jesus Himself says in His Word that He is the ONLY WAY, that there is no other (see John 14: 6). Also in Acts 4:12 it clearly says that there is no other name given to men by whom we are saved; and in 1 Timothy 2: 5 it still tells us very clearly that there is only one mediator between God and men: Jesus Christ. Throughout the entire Bible IT IS NOT TAUGHT that we are to pray to someone other than God.
I came to the conviction that the sacrifice of the Mass has no reason to be. When I meditated on Hebrews, from chapter 7 to chapter 10, I was able to realize it. Sacrifices were applicable in the Old Testament, but when Jesus came He offered Himself in a SINGLE SACRIFICE to pay for the sins of mankind. Not in vain in the New Testament it is clearly and constantly taught that Jesus Christ is the LAMB of God who came to take away the sin of the world by means of a unique and unrepeatable sacrifice.
I came to the conviction that the Priesthood no longer applies either. As a consequence of the above, priests as ministers are no longer necessary, because Jesus Christ is our great HIGH PRIEST. These teachings I also found from chapter 7 to chapter 10 of the book of Hebrews. I think it's clearer than water. Also, if we look at Ephesians 4: 11-12, there it is clearly mentioned what are the various ministries that exist in the Church of the Lord Jesus. Does it say priests? Now ALL BELIEVERS are priests because WE HAVE FREE ACCESS to God through Jesus Christ. We no longer need human mediators to lead us to God because in Christ we have our only High Priest.
I came to the conviction that you become a SON of God NOT when you belong to a religion or practice any rite. You become a child of God when you receive and believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. See for example John 1:12. It is that the Word of God is so clear, that it is so clear yet many refuse to believe in its content.
I also understood that Baptism for infants is not valid. The Lord Jesus Himself clearly teaches in Mark 16:16 that before being baptized it is necessary to BELIEVE first. Not the other way around as traditional religion teaches. It is impossible for a baby to have the power to believe or repent of their sins. In the Bible it is never taught that to be baptized you have to establish baptismal sponsors, this is a human teaching. Definitely, to be baptized you have to believe first.
Anything else. I understood that traditional Religion IS NOT "the only way to be saved" (see Romans 10: 8-10). It is not because I belong to a religion that I am going to be saved, but because I have believed in Jesus Christ.
IN SUMMARY...
I understood that it is not about being in "the TRUE RELIGION", but being part of a people that have the Bible as their only INFALLIBLE RULE of faith and conduct.
A people ... that believe in the doctrine of TRINITY. That is to say, believe that the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit is God. May he believe that Jesus is God made man and therefore Lord of all that is and exists. Let him believe that only HE, being God, has the attributes that only correspond to divinity. She is the one who believes that Jesus, being God, has power over death, capable of giving eternal life. Any other grouping that gives other living or dead people divine attributes cannot be considered a Christian denomination; as well as denying the divinity of the Holy Spirit, it cannot be considered as such. May he believe in the Gospel message as the ONLY condition to be saved. That is to say, believe that Salvation is by GRACE THROUGH FAITH in the WORK that Christ did on the cross.
A people ... who believe that Jesus is the only mediator between God and men. That other people, no matter how good or holy they have been, are not required to obtain salvation.
A people ... who believe that GOOD WORKS are the result of FAITH in Christ and not the condition for obtaining that faith. A people who believe that the Holy Spirit is the one who enables them to think, feel and act as Christ would do; who is the TRAINER to walk in good works.
A people ... who believe that the favors of God are not bought either with sacrifices, or with indulgences of any kind, or by bleeding my knees on a pilgrimage. Christ has already paid the price with His sacrifice on the Cross.
CURRENT RESULTS
Among the current results that I have come to acquire is:
- The supernatural conviction of the biblical content. Romans 10:17
- The Knowledge of the TRUTH. The truth is not in a religion, it is in Christ. John 8:32
- The experience of a REAL and PERSONAL God. Job 42: 5
- The call to fulfill a mission. Mt 28: 19-20.
- Consecration; that is to say, put myself at your service. Isaiah 6: 8.
CONCLUSION
The call from my experience is that you always have the Word of God as your LAMP. So study it and meditate on it. It is by studying the Word of God that you will come to be convinced of ...
- What God IS.
- What God has DONE.
- What God has SAID.
Jose Alfredo Lievano
alfredolievano1807@yahoo.es
San Salvador, El Salvador, CA
Monday, July 5, 2004.
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