My mother was a devout "Methodist" in 1913 when she "dared" to marry a "devout" Catholic. As a result of this, her family disinherited her. This was later denied by my mother's sisters who chose to renew relationships in their golden years. From this union they were born eighteen children, eight boys and seven girls. Three of them died in infancy. Mom and Dad would kneel by his bed every night to pray. They also attended Mass every Sunday. During WWII, they attended Mass almost every day and lit red candles in front of the church, paying $ 0.25 for each of the five candles in honor of their five children who served in the United States military service. All of them returned home alive, although two out of three of them were injured. Each of them received the purple heart. A great celebration took place beginning with a Thanksgiving Mass, a grand dinner, photographs taken, and a dance in which the entire neighborhood was invited.
A few months before the war broke out, my older sister was admitted to the convent of the Franciscan Sisters of the Holy Family. This group of nuns came two weeks every summer to teach at the “vacation school” in our own parish. One of my sisters always admired them and the work they did and decided that she wanted to live this kind of life too. She was seventeen years old when together with my other sister who was sixteen, she was only six weeks old and returned home due to illness. My third sister made the comment that no matter how long I had to wait, she wanted to become a nun too.
After eighth grade, we all stay home for this express purpose. For whatever reason, this third sister was allowed to go to the convent immediately after the eighth grade. Two years later, my second sister returned to the convent to stay. I was the next young woman left. My parents made some comments expressing their joy that their daughters were in the convent because they were "safe" there. They didn't get into trouble the way some of the young women their own age did in the community. These comments motivated me to consider becoming a nun as well. I considered myself as unloved by my father and I don't remember a single conversation with him. I told mom if she could ask dad if he wanted me to go to the convent. My mother didn't want to say whether or not they wanted me to become a nun. She said that was up to me. When I decided to go, I asked him to tell Dad. He told me that he didn't think much about it, but he said he was surprised. I think he considered me a very 'restless' teenager to think about such a vocation.
I worked throughout the summer of 1950 in the quality control department of a poultry company examining chicken eggs so that they could be sold in good condition. It was my first job outside the home. With the money I earned, I bought the things I needed to get into the convent and I still had $ 34 left. I gave that money to Dad while we were on our way to the convent where I arrived as a candidate seeking admission.
Maria McGuigan
It took three years of training to become a nun. The first year as an aspirant, we wore mid-calf black dresses with a small cape over the shoulders and a white collar similar to the necklaces of the priests. Long black stockings and black shoes completed our outfit. We studied the rules of the order (a set of guidelines formulated by the founders of the community) and the history of the church (according to the Catholic point of view). After the end of this year, we were examined by some officials appointed by the motherhouse authorities, to see if we were ready to become sisters. Afterwards we participated in a ceremony where we dressed as brides and received our nuns' habits.
The following year was called "the canonical year" because we studied Canon Law or "the law of the Catholic Church." It was considered a very important year and we were much more restricted from having contact with our family and friends.
After our third year, we took temporary vows. That meant they were for one year only and would be renewed each year for the next two years before we were allowed to take final and perpetual vows. During that three-year period, we had to look for our tasks in whatever the convent decided for us. Those tasks could be house cleaning, teaching, nursing, etc. Whatever the community of sisters decided, that was the appropriate thing for each member to do.
Some incidents occurred during my years of training. One of them was when I mentioned to the vocational manager that I couldn't decide whether to be a housekeeper or a teacher. Her statement was: "you are going to be a teacher." That was the end of the discussion. On another occasion, I had the courage to approach the head of the novices and told her that I was afraid to talk to her. Because I had three older sisters who were also in the Convent, I had a reputation for meeting all the requirements. My sisters were highly respected, so I also had to follow the same example. Although we had been taught that our family inheritance should not be sought, it now seemed important that I follow their example and not be myself. This affected me.
We were also told that we should blindly obey in everything, that is, do everything we are told and never ask questions. In those three years of training, we were given certain specific cleaning activities which we had to do every day. I tried to do my homework as soon as possible and then headed to the study hall. One morning, the head of the novices came into the study and asked me why I hadn't done my cleaning job. I told him that I had. He told me he hadn't. When I insisted, she got very angry and rushed out of there. I didn't understand why she insisted that I hadn't done my job when I knew I had.
My first engagement after the Convent was on a “mission” in the Chicago area. When I left the Convent, one of my brothers thought that if I had not been assigned to the Chicago area I would have left the Convent. He, along with another member of my family believed that the "Big City" would be my undoing. He had to teach third grade. At that time I had no training on how to teach. The Chicago area did not require teachers to have Bachelor's degrees. I hadn't even finished my high school, but I had already been sent to that area. My secondary education and my teacher training were completed during my first year of teaching. Sometimes I think of those poor students I had in my first year of teaching. I was too strict and inflexible and I'm sure some of them suffered from mental anguish due to my methods. There were fifty-three students in my classroom.
Maria when she was a nun.
After our first year on mission, my other sisters and I would travel to our headquarters during the summer months to study. It was then that the college courses were finished. An older sister was assigned to advise and supervise the younger sisters who were still under temporary vows. After my first year, this sister called me into her office and told me that one of the older sisters who lived with me during my first year of teaching was worried about me because I was a bit “frivolous” in the convent. I was admonished to be more serious. That caused me a lot of anxiety and for the next year I pretended "if I was dead." I cried every night before sleeping and there was no one I could trust. As a result, I ended up in the hospital with a pain in my side. It was definitely something imaginary because the doctors couldn't find anything physically abnormal. I remember sitting in the middle of the hospital bed laughing and joking with other patients in the room. What he was doing made no sense whatsoever. Another sister who was living with me at the time was given a leave of absence and received care as a mental patient. Later she left the community. Anyway, I continued this "dead woman" performance for the next two or three years. Another sister who was living with me at the time was given a leave of absence and received care as a mental patient. Later she left the community. Anyway, I continued this "dead woman" performance for the next two or three years. Another sister who was living with me at the time was given a leave of absence and received care as a mental patient. Later she left the community. Anyway, I continued this "dead woman" performance for the next two or three years.
A big reason for my anxiety was during the end of the school year and the resulting summer months. Each of the sisters had a luggage rack in which they deposited all their belongings. Before attending classes or another summer subject, they packed all their belongings in that suitcase. They did this so that if they were given another assignment during the summer, they would not have to travel to their last mission, but could proceed to their new assignment and then someone would send their luggage from their previous assignment to where they were now. This process that was done every summer caused a great loss of sleep and other anxieties in me. Towards the end of July after dinner, all the sisters of the convent lined up according to their age. Those who had entered first were the first and in silence, they would go towards the chapel. As they walked towards the chapel door, the Mother Superior gave each of them a small piece of paper with the assignments for the coming year. Many sisters shed tears at those times. But this was part of our vow of obedience.
Poverty was not a problem for me, probably due to the poverty in which my family lived. However, it is difficult to see any sense of poverty within the confines of convent life today. My sisters and their companions have all the material comforts that would classify them as upper-middle class citizens. They travel and live where they want, either alone in apartments or anywhere they want. They can also receive financial compensation from their lay friends.
Superiors in various missions were assigned for three terms and then they could serve for another three year term, but no more. My second mission was to another part of the Chicago area. The sister who was superior was also the director of the school. Her second term as superior was over and she was only as director. An older sister had been assigned to the position of sister superior. She came from a small community in Iowa and was probably not used to big cities. She had come determined to curb the scandalous events she had heard taking place on this particular mission. There was great friction! It only lasted a year and both she and the director were transferred the next year. The next year a new superior and director was assigned to our convent. She didn't want such a position, but it was obvious that she had to take that position anyway. By the middle of the year, I was playing the role of director because she couldn't do what she had to do because of certain physical, mental and emotional problems.
As I mentioned earlier, in the novitiate we were encouraged to obey blindly. We didn't have to ask questions because we were doing what God wanted us to do. During that year, when I was working as "the director", we received orders from the authorities of the parent company, that if we saw things that were not correct as they should be, we could make them known to these authorities. Five or six of us who were on this mission during that year decided to write our concerns to the headquarters. We stipulated what was happening and what was not happening on this mission and what we thought should be done. As a result, all of us who wrote our concerns were reassigned to other missions.
My next workplace was in a Chicago suburb. During that time, the "community" began to change the design of our "habits." They were modified to something shorter with veils that were smaller and placed at the back of the head exposing part of our hair. This particular mission had a director who came from a small town in the United States. She began to depend on the "inner group" of nuns at the school. They influenced her so that she could tell which students came from good families and which ones came from questionable families. I got used to being drawn to those students who were considered the "homeless." We got along very well and I was able to help them with some of their problems. The principals would begin to “grade” their teachers later that year. I received very unsatisfactory grades.
These "questionable" students would come to the convent in the afternoon to sit and talk. They had nothing in particular to say but they just wanted a little attention and to be heard. That was a suburb and they lived in houses instead of "homes". One day the superior questioned me about that particular situation. She believed that because this was a time when the sisters would meet for recess time of the day, I should be with them instead of those students. She told me if I would be interested in seeing a psychiatrist. The Diocese of Chicago had recently established a mental health program and the sisters were allowed to see any assigned doctor from various professions for the help that was needed. I agreed to see this psychiatrist once a week. I was a bit hesitant because I knew he was not a Catholic and probably would not understand my situation. After the third or fourth visit she told me: "Maybe you had a vocation to be a nun at one time, but that is changing and you no longer have that vocation to be a nun." Those words terrified me and I refused to go see him again. The reason for feeling that way was that we had been told very emphatically while we were in training, that once we had spent our sixth year in the convent and took our solemn vows, we should stay and never leave the convent. This was our calling. The Lord must have other plans for me. I do not remember having discussed this with someone else why I would not go to the psychiatrist anymore, but my superior found a priest who was considered a great advisor to the nuns. Most of his clients were women: sisters and lay women (I hope he met Jesus Christ before he died).
Another practice that was suggested to us was to renew our vows every day after Holy Communion. I did this every day until the last few months as a nun, as I was sincere in doing what I had been taught was the right thing to do. Those events were "the beginning of the end" for me at the convent. During the summer of 1969, I graduated from the College having done all my homework during the summer sessions provided by the Convent. A fellow sister of mine who had been on the same mission with me for the past year had heard that I was planning to marry a former student. She began to spread that rumor until it reached the ears of the parent company. I was reprimanded and told that if that was my intention I should leave immediately. The only alternative was for them to reassign me to another mission in Iowa since the sister who had spread the rumor could not live with me for a moment longer due to what she knew about me. I told them that I had planned to consult with the area representative in the summer regarding this anyway. When I was told about being reassigned, at that point I made my decision to be absent that same summer. I went again to the mission in the Chicago suburbs to pack my belongings and leave. I told them that I did not wish to speak to the authorities in Iowa at that time. They did not want to respect my decision. They allowed another person of lower rank to call me and after speaking with the Mother Superior told her to persuade me to stay.
I decided that the date of my departure would be September 1, 1969. This would be a year of absence. The local superior made me a loan of $ 400. The parent company lent me $ 900, money that I had to pay at 5% interest. The counseling priest "gave" me about two hundred dollars. I paid the $ 900 within five to six months and the local superior received her money within a few months. I found an apartment on the North side of the city of Chicago and a job on the Chicago Board of Education. The priest helped me find and find my first car. I bought furniture and other things at thrift and second-hand stores.
During that year, I consulted with the representative of the diocese who was in charge of the nuns who were leaving the convent at that time. There were many. He helped me formulate my reasons for becoming a nun. This included being influenced by my older sisters and my parents' approval of them; the fact that I believed I would be "safe" in a convent - it was a guaranteed ticket to heaven. I wouldn't have to worry about my hair anymore, which had always been a concern for me. He also helped me to obtain the necessary help from Rome to "legally" exempt me from any other obligation towards the convent. This he did after making it clear that there would be no future return to the convent and continue living as nun.
Some of the reactions on the part of my family were with the intention of convincing me to return to the convent. One of my sisters said that I could do a lot of good in the convent. I also told him that he could do a lot of good outside the convent. Another told me that if I was going to leave, to do it now before I got older. The other one made no comment. Another tried to make me feel guilty for leaving the convent. The fifth sister was a little hurt and wondered if she had done something that would have prompted my decision to leave the convent. He also had a brother who had been a monk for eight or more years but had resigned and got married. After leaving the monastery, he felt so guilty that he spent several agonizing days trying to know if that had been the right decision. Since he had not taken solemn vows, he was free to resign at any time (according to the church). My brother who was a priest asked me: “Why give up the convent? You have three meals a day and a roof to live on ”. To which I replied: "I think there is something more to life than just that." So, after 19 years as a nun, I was back "in the world" - and free. To which I replied: "I think there is something more to life than just that." So, after 19 years as a nun, I was back "in the world" - and free. To which I replied: "I think there is something more to life than just that." So, after 19 years as a nun, I was back "in the world" - and free.
After a year and a half of leaving the convent, I decided to attend a dance organized for Catholic singles. It was held at St. Peter's Church in Downtown Chicago on a Saturday night. That night, I met my future husband John. I had always dreamed of marrying a "curly black haired Irishman". His hair wasn't black, but it was curly and he was also Irish. We were married on January 8, 1972. Most of my family drove from Iowa to Chicago for the wedding, which took place in the Catholic Church. I was marrying a Catholic because I was still Catholic. At the time, that didn't bother me. John was proud to be married to a former nun. But he stopped mentioning it when he realized that people believed that he was the reason why I had left the convent.
The fall before we were married, John had an experience at the Chicago church in the western area. It was a new birth experience. Somehow, he had trusted Jesus Christ "only" for his salvation, but he didn't realize exactly what had happened to him. After being married for a few months, he began to watch the evangelists on television on Sunday mornings. He would listen to them preach and then we would go to Mass. One Sunday a certain evangelist offered a free New Testament. John requested it and began to read it with great enthusiasm. Sometimes he cried and sometimes he laughed. I started to feel a bit jealous due to spending too much time with his new book. Some Sundays later, he decided to leave the television on and listen to another preacher. It offered its viewers a free weekend at their organization's offices. All we had to pay for was transportation, so we decided to go. While we were packing up, John put out some tissues. He didn't know why he was doing it since we usually used toilet paper, but I didn't say anything to him. When we reached our destination and sat down - waiting for the preacher, I started crying. I cried and cried without knowing why. That's when John's handkerchiefs became indispensable. I had realized that I needed faith and repentance. I realized that I was a sinner. As a Catholic and as a nun I had put my faith only in the sacraments. However, those rituals hadn't changed my heart.“Jesus answered: Truly, truly, I tell you, anyone who is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6 What is born of the flesh is flesh; and what is born of the Spirit is spirit ”. [1] The Lord had given me the conviction I needed and after the speaker left, I walked into a room where some counselors prayed for me. That day I trusted Christ for my salvation and was born again.
Nothing spectacular happened in my life that I would have noticed at that time. One Sunday morning, John was watching his usual television shows and then we were going to Mass. After returning home, he told me that he was not willing to go to Mass anymore. They were not teaching the Bible. I told him he didn't have to go if he didn't want to. He was surprised by my answer. A few weeks later, I was talking to a former nun with whom I had lived. She had believed in Jesus Christ for her salvation when she was still in the convent. While talking to her on the phone one day, she mentioned that God does not live in man-made houses. That was a new revelation for me.
Visits with members of my family have been different. We live far from all of them, so it is not very difficult to continue being a Christian without having to go to the Catholic Church to satisfy them. There have been times when I was forbidden to take part in some of their important ceremonies because they knew that I was no longer a "practicing" Catholic. I understand the cunning methods of Satan, but I will not allow him to persuade me to deny my Lord Jesus. I explained to some of my family that the laws of the church were made by men and that therefore they can be changed by man. That a refusal on my part towards the vows in Catholicism did not break any of the laws of God, but only the laws of man.
Another evangelist I saw on television was the director of a shelter in South Florida. When we decided to leave Chicago for a warmer place, we agreed to spend time in this refuge for a week or two. We had glorious days of Christian teaching and fellowship. So we felt led to travel to North Florida where we bought a small farm. Now we know that the main reason for moving to that area was to be taught by the Word of God. After a short period of arriving in our new home, the Lord inspired a young man from Tallahasse to "teach John." As we left Chicago from our new birth experience and even though we received some teaching at the shelter, we still needed more wholesome Bible teaching. This young man visited our home weekly and taught us the scriptures. In early Spring 1981, the Lord made him feel like he was not coming to our home anymore. We were equipped and we were going to mature even more without their help. Within two to three months of being left alone, we moved to Hawaii for a closer adventure with the Lord. The young man and his wife have continued to be our friends for the past 25 years. The Lord continues to work in our lives. One of our favorite scriptures is this: The young man and his wife have continued to be our friends for the past 25 years. The Lord continues to work in our lives. One of our favorite scriptures is this: The young man and his wife have continued to be our friends for the past 25 years. The Lord continues to work in our lives. One of our favorite scriptures is this: "In all your ways acknowledge him, And he will make your paths straight." [2]
John and I find ourselves convinced that we are saved and that we are safe in Jesus Christ. What is at stake is the incorruptible truth of God's Word when it says "To make you know the certainty of the words of truth . " [3] Security is necessary in the salvation of our immortal souls. We have our praise and exaltation of God in the words of the apostle Paul: “ For you have not received the spirit of slavery to be again in fear, but you have received the spirit of adoption, by which we cry out: Abba, Father! The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God ”. [4]
The Holy Spirit was the unique and wonderful cause that we were "born again." In the words of Jesus: “It is the spirit that gives life; meat is useless; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life ”. [5] The Lord God gloriously saved us sinners "not by works of justice that we had done, but by his mercy, by the washing of regeneration and by the renewal in the Holy Spirit." [6] We now live in Lihue Hawaii and continue in the grace of God. God is all holy. This is why we need to be reconciled to Him on the terms He has established. Return only Him in faith for salvation that He alone gives by the conviction of the Holy Spirit, so that the same as John and I, can also experience the words of Scripture personally " For by grace you have been saved through of faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God; not by works, so that no one can boast. [7]
[1] John 3: 5, 6
[2] Proverbs 3: 6
[3] Proverbs 22:21
[4] Romans 8:15, 16
[5] John 6:63
[6] Titus 3: 5
[7] Ephesians 2: 8, 9
[Source: https://bereanbeacon.org/es/mi-vida-como-monja-una-base-para-el-discernimiento/]
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